I imagine that this movie would be much more enjoyable if all the dialogue were replaced with those from Kate Beaton’s comics
DAISY WHERE IS THE BABY
come to the library where learning is fun
This. All of this makes me beyond happy for so many reasons.
Lois Lane, Reporter by Kate Beaton
Is now the time to hear what Kate Beaton has to say about Javert? I think it is.
1. How can you tell if the unknown party guest is the Devil?
- He has cloven feet
- He turned the television on to MTV (grandma was right!)
- He’s all like “hey baby, I’m burnin’ up here cause you’re so hot and I’m Satan”
- He’s checking out your copy of the Malleus Maleficarum all casual like it’s not weird
2. Who was Jack the Ripper, really?
- The Earl of Toffee, heir to Her Majesty’s cabbages
- Colonel Mustard in the Conservatory with the lead pipe
- Moriarty, damn his eyes! He’s the Napoleon of crime!
- El Chupacabra
3. How can I tell thou art a witch?
- For thou hast cavorted with Satan in a sexy way
- Because I could really use thy farmland if thou happened to be a witch
- For the milk has gone sour and I understand science not
- For thou won’t consent to a simple drowning test, the premise “offends thy good sense”
4. Before Jack o’ Lanterns, Celtic cultures used:
- The carved heads of your enemies
- Bog sacrifice of your enemies
- Oatmeal in the shape of a face (of your enemies)
- Jack o’ turnips
5. Which Malevolent Old Woman Spirit from Japan is the scariest?
- Cackling old woman
- Old woman bleeding from the eyes
- Floating head of weeping old woman
- Old woman inquiring about your marital status
6. What is the only thing that can kill a werewolf?
- Silver bulletin
- Rock n’ roll
- Pile driver
7. Should we pick up this spectral hitchhiker?
- Only if he will share his weed
- No way, they’re jerks! You give them a ride and then they vanish without saying thanks
- Only if they’re doing that thing where you stick your leg out
- I don’t trust those spectral hitchhikers, they’re all the same, but I’m not racist or anything
8. Trick or:
- El Chupacabra
9. If you say “Bloody Mary” three times, what will you see in the mirror?
- The Virgin Mary (this answer is blasphemous, circle only if you are willing to go to confession immediately)
- “Bawdy Mary?” this spell is broken
- A bartender who heard you the first time
- A scorching hot hag (if you’re into hags)
10. What do the zombies want?
Please circle your answers in blood (obviously) and submit your papers via séance
This fucking killed me.
And this is an image I did for them last year, some versions have the ‘beat’ poster in the corner and some don’t, hmm I forget which one we went with.