those jerks at culinary school always called me a weanie but look at me now
my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.
ive been laughing at this for about 20 minutes because
i fucking hate this website
its 3am and there are tears streaming down my face because of this
JUST MISTYPED PERFECT AS PEARFECT
AS I WAS TALKING ABOUT GETTING PERFECT PEARS
They better stay clear of the lettuce
IT TOOK ME LIKE 5 MINUTES TO REALISE THE LETTUCE JOKE MEANT ICEBURG LETTUCE
why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
*sighs* because the ‘pee’ is silent
no because it’s dead
if you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
why don’t you go where fashion sits
i hate this
putin on the ritz
it just keeps getting better
Owl you can fly
but he can’t knot.
The level in the cup never rises.
The pot is never empty, its angle never changes.
I have seen forever.
THAT FUCKING GIF I CANT
A lycanthrope transforms in front of his friend for the first time.
"Oh my god."says his friend,"You just turned into a wolf."
"Yes,"he replies "I am a were"
Man, if Satan ever starts losing his hair there will be Hell toupée
I think this may actually be the worst pun of all time. Congratulations.
You spelled ‘best’ wrong.