finnickodaired:

barackinaroundthechristmastree:

WHAT COLOR ARE MIRRORS

let’s reflect on this

hobbitts:

ball so hard mufuckas wanna fine me

icicleman:

thatpunnyguy:

what does Batman like to put in his drinks?

JUST ICE

GET OUT

iusedtobeintbs:

modosanai:

‘if the bride and groom would now like to exchange their vows’ the priest says

‘a, e, i, o, u’ the bride whispers

#with his eyes filling with tears #the groom chokes out a heartfelt ”and sometimes y”

didyougetmytext:

the-vashta-nerada:

i used to piss off my english teacher by making stupid csi puns every time a character died in hamlet

like we got to the part where ophelia died and i borrowed a kid’s sunglasses and i was like “looks like ophelia…was drowning her sorrows”

i almost got kicked out every day but it was worth it

#looks like laertes….got the point #looks like it’s curtains…..for polonius #looks like king hamlet….got an earful

didyousaypuppeteersorpoptarts:

peetasboxers:

the-changlorious-bastards:

NO

PRAISE THE LORD THIS IS PERFECT

mICHAEL

billiearmstrong:

if michael bublé doesn’t say he’s “going to have a bublé bath” then he needs to rethink his choices in life

yeahnofuckthat:

gold

tired-and-mean:

Vegetabrella by Yurie Mano

This is pretty rad-ish, but lettuce not get too excited, the umbrella will allow your head to romaine dry but it’s not very tasty. I know the puns are corny but I really don’t carrot all.

Reblogged for puns. Peas stop.

novakian:

siranthonystark:

One tectonic plate bumped into another and said…..

“Sorry, my fault.”

get out.

jennyushkowitz:

skankblaines:

jennyushkowitz:

skankblaines:

how much can a whale ejaculate????

The average whale usually ejaculates as much as 300 gallons of semen.

thank you

You’re whalecum.

watswitdamonkey:

hattedguineapigs:

timelordy-teganbreann:

saveitasajpeg:

timelordy-teganbreann:

I did Nazi this coming

Indeed, this was the Führer-thest thing from my mind.

I’m not even sure why this toast is even Herr

THIS TOAST IS WAAAY OUT OF MEIN KAMFORT ZONE.

Anne Frankly I find this impossible.