ball so hard mufuckas wanna fine me
‘if the bride and groom would now like to exchange their vows’ the priest says
‘a, e, i, o, u’ the bride whispers
i used to piss off my english teacher by making stupid csi puns every time a character died in hamlet
like we got to the part where ophelia died and i borrowed a kid’s sunglasses and i was like “looks like ophelia…was drowning her sorrows”
i almost got kicked out every day but it was worth it
PRAISE THE LORD THIS IS PERFECT
if michael bublé doesn’t say he’s “going to have a bublé bath” then he needs to rethink his choices in life
Vegetabrella by Yurie Mano
This is pretty rad-ish, but lettuce not get too excited, the umbrella will allow your head to romaine dry but it’s not very tasty. I know the puns are corny but I really don’t carrot all.
Reblogged for puns. Peas stop.
One tectonic plate bumped into another and said…..
“Sorry, my fault.”
how much can a whale ejaculate????
The average whale usually ejaculates as much as 300 gallons of semen.
I did Nazi this coming
Indeed, this was the Führer-thest thing from my mind.
I’m not even sure why this toast is even Herr
THIS TOAST IS WAAAY OUT OF MEIN KAMFORT ZONE.
Anne Frankly I find this impossible.